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Asshole
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Asshole Rules and Regulations

Supplies:

A Deck of Cards / Lot's and lot's of Alcohol (preferably beer)

Game Instructions:

Chances are if you ask someone if they have played asshole they will say yes, but not everyone plays asshole the same way. So, instead of being assholes and giving you guys some version that you couldn't possibly remember we'll stick to the basics of the game. Like every other game posted here you will need a group of people, a large table, a deck of cards and plenty of beverage. Now, with a shuffled deck remove the jokers and have everyone select a card. The player with the highest card (Ace being high) will assume the presidency and then on down the line with the lowest card drawn being the asshole. Titles can be given to everyone starting with: President, Vice-President, Speaker of the House, President Pro-Tempore, Secretary of State, Secretary of Treasury, Secretary of Defense, Attorney General, Secretary of the Interior, Secretary of Agriculture and so forth with the asshole being the lowest of the lowest. If two players draw the same value of card say two "five's", then they must draw another card until one of them has drawn a card higher than the other persons...keep in mind this is just between the two people who have drawn the same card. Just because one of them draws an Ace this time doesn't make them president, it just places that person in front of the person they tied with.

Now, according to your rank arrange yourselves from president on down to the asshole around the table. Time to begin. Give the asshole the deck of cards to shuffle and deal. The president will decide to whom the asshole deals the first card to, which will determine who will receive extra cards should there be some. The most cards any one player can have over everyone else in only one.

Once the cards have been dealt out, the asshole must give the president his or her two best cards and the president will in turn give the asshole two of his or her cards preferably two bad cards. High cards are the cards you want with the exception of the "2" card, the "2" is the most powerful card in the game; we'll get to that later. The VP and the player in rank right above the asshole must also exchange cards, but only one card.

The object of the game is to get rid of all your cards first. If you should be that player then you will assume the position of president for the next round of play. The next player to get rid of his or her cards takes the VP position and so forth. The president always throws down the first card to start play.

Here is an example of how to play:

The president starts the game by laying down one of his or her cards, say a "10" card. Play continues in the direction on down the line to the asshole. The VP now has four options available to him / her:

1. Play a card with a higher value, i.e. a Jack, Queen, King or Ace.
2. Play a "10" card, which matches the presidents. By doing this, the next player in line's turn is skipped.
3. He or she can choose to pass even if they have a playable card in their hand. If they do decide to pass, then they must swig a sip of their drink.
4. Play a "2". This card ends the round immediately.

Let's say the VP chooses to pass, then the next player has the same choices as the VP had. Either beat the "10" or any of the other choices etc. Once a round has finished the asshole must sweep the pile of cards and stack them to the side. Play then resumes with the player who dropped the highest card in the last round.

When beginning a round, the player can choose to drop a single card, two of a kind, three of a kind, or four of a kind. If this player chooses to drop a three of a kind all "4's". Then the next player must beat those three fours by dropping a three of a kind in higher value, or by dropping a "2". A single "2" beats everything. You CANNOT drop a four of a kind on a three of a kind. It must be three of a kind. This applies to two of a kinds, single cards, etc. Let me make this clear, every new round the player has the option of playing a single card, a pair, three of a kind, or a four of a kind. Given these rules let's say he/she lays a single down, then the round must continue in this way until the end of the round, you cannot lay down a two of a kind and think that will beat the single card. This is a drunken maneuver and should be punished by a sip of your cocktail.

Cheating:

Do not cheat. It only ruins the game for everyone playing. If a cheater is caught, feel free to do whatever means necessary to teach this person that cheaters do not and will not prosper.

Game Quirks and Perks:

One must do whatever those above them tell them to do. Be prudent in what you ask the people below you to do. The game could quickly bog down from players running around doing errands or whatever. Remember this is a game, not a time for you to get your shit done for free.

If a player remains President for three consecutive rounds he or she is allowed to make a rule (See Rules).

Variations:

In the event that there are more than 10 players involved in the game, two complete decks should be used. Two decks can be used for 8 or 9 players as well. Play is the same as with one deck where a single 2 will beat a single card, a set of doubles or a set of triples. However, if a set of 5, 6, 7, or 8 of a kind are thrown, two "2's" are needed to trump the cards and end the round.
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